Mount and Blade – Adventures of Red Beard, Episode 6 – Old Business and New Friends

We resume at Halmar, and ride through the Khergit Steppe looking for tribesmen to join us and spices to trade. A stop in Narra leads to an unexpected ambush. This time, I dispatch them without a scratch. Once at Tulga, the spice capital of Caldaria, I buy what I can at good prices and speak to the Guild Master. He asks that I escort a caravan to Dhirim. The pay is not great, surely not as much as caravan raiding, but I accept. I intend to join the Khanate as a lord in the future, so it’s a good idea to make friends when you can.

Ah, the Swadian Plains. This time, it’s just as I recall it: full of smoke and screaming peasants. The caravan parts ways at the gate, and I visit the tavern, where I sell all the captives I have, except the footmen expected by Count Trimbau. The Guild Master here asks that I attempt to broker a peace between the Nords and Swadians. I think I lack the persuasive skills and money required to do this. If able, this is a good mission to accept. It gives plenty of renown, and right to rule, I think. I pass.

At level 9, I have acquired 12 strength, allowing me to earn a fourth point in power draw. Now, I can use war bows. I’ll buy the next one I find. In the mean time, there are plenty of caravans to loot near the mountain pass near Halmar.

After getting enough footmen captives from hapless caravans, I escort the short distance from Halmar to Narra. There, I get in a drunken brawl, beat the bastard senseless, and find another caravan to lead me to Uxhal. On the way, or shortly after arriving, I hope to find Trimbau and earn my bounty.

On the road, I receive word that a campaign is starting, and a request to report to the current marshal, Count Gharmall. My log informs me that Weyyah Castle is under siege and in need of assistance. We ride that way for most of the day, but are a few hours too late. The castle is taken, and the campaign abandoned.

Not far from Weyyah, I come upon the marshal. He is actually father of Trimbau, and informs me that his son is part of a raiding party near Ayn Assuadi, between Weyyah and Shariz. I find him and receive my bounty. While the raiders were able to sack their target, a clean escape is not an option for them. Rather than assist against a well armed defense force, I return to the caravan and continue to Uxhal. There I find my war bow!

And an opportunity to test it out in a siege. Assistance is called for once again. The enemy continues their offensive and aims to take Jamiche Castle. Hopefully superior tactics and a defensive advantage will help us win out over their superior numbers. Half a day into the siege, however, a truce is made between the Sarranids and Rhodoks. Along with the peace treaty signed between Rhodoks and Swadia, it seems like I’ll have to occupy myself with something other than caravan raiding.

From Jamiche, I return to the capital of Jelkala. Along with some cheap smoked fish, I find a couple of new companions in the tavern. Rolf, an intelligent and crafty charlatan, and Matheld, a skilled warrior and disinherited noble. I speak with the king and other traveling parties nearby. None have seen any trace of the deserters who attacked travelers near Veluca.

At Veluca, I find cheap olives and another drunk bloke. This fight didn’t go so well. I win, but barely. The barmaid ran in the middle of the fight at least 3 times. Very distracting. I speak to the Guild Master here about setting up an oil press, but lack the funds to do so.

Near Veluca, I catch up with Count Fraichin, who informs me he spotted the deserters in the mountains near Fedner 4 days ago. Not very promising, but at least we have a lead. Fortunately, I caught them on the road to Epeshe the very same night. After the battle, I’m pleased to hear from both Nizar and Matheld of a mutual respect between them. Morale is high, our contracts fulfilled. I grab a few more mountain bandit captives for good measure and return for the bounty in Veluca.

The Guild Master grants me 1000 denars, 2000 experience, and the gratitude of Veluca. Additionally he requests that I escort a herd of cattle to Barriye. Quite a distance, and a mission more easily achieved with the truce between the Sultanate and Kingdom established. I accept. Not a glamorous mission, but hopefully we’ll meet a few heroes, fight some bandits, and/or make some good trades along the way.

Company of Heroes, Episode 2: 1v1 Langres. Du kannst nicht vorbei! Wehrmacht Infantry and Bunker Tactics

The focus of this match is to take advantage of early map control, lock it down with bunkers, and bleed em dry. Let’s see how I do.

A pretty standard start. 1st pioneer builds the quarters, and takes the west perimeter on queue without any contact. The second pioneer splits east, takes the ammo, and gets jumped by a jeep at the fuel point on the other side of the road. By that time, my first volksgrenadiers take a central command point and move in to assist from the nearby house.

Paired up, they drive back the jeep. My pioneer continues capturing points while my volks give chase, nearly killing the jeep and downing two engineers in the process. A little too close to their perimeter defenses to push the issue, so I pull the back towards mid. My 2nd pioneer has moved on to build my first bunker in the backfield. A 2nd volks move to seize the enemy high ammunition on the other side of the hedgerow, and an MG42 is deployed in the farmhouse to secure the area.

2nd volks and 1st pioneer combine to destroy an enemy engineer squad. 1st pioneer recaptures the command point, while 2nd volks moves to scout / capture mid. 1st volks upgrades with mp40 submachine guns, but doesn’t engage the allied parade marching down the middle of the field. They fortify the nearby barn, and emerge after the threat has passed to seize the nearby command point and neutralize the enemy munitions on the other side of the road.

2nd volks trounces the enemy engineers mid after the allies foolishly split their forces. The Jeep spins its wheels to no effect, the first rifle reclaims the southeast, and I solidify my hold on the west, planting a bunker and seizing the command point in front of it.

The 1st rifleman, who has had so much success capturing points unopposed, is caught between 2 volks and a pioneer mid. While fighting one firing the fences, the other flanks, pushed them off the heavy cover zone behind the well, and the squad is devastated. I think one may have survived.

Silly Jeep gets in too deep and is destroyed by my new halftrack with volksgrenadier support. Infantry squads now have tier one veterancy. My halftrack finds an unaccompanied HMG, and circles them to death.

My medic bunker holds off infantry advances in the west, but a newly deployed mortar squad may prove to be a problem. Flame engineers attack my rear bunker, and a unit cuts through the westernmost hedgerow to capture behind my bunker defense. Both are killed by my now tier 2 veteran volks.

An attempt to seize the westernmost fuel point is thwarted, and I throw down some barbed wire for good measure. An attempt by me to lock down the east, just outside their base, is also thwarted, 1st pioneers are killed in the process. Sandbags are deployed by the road mid and reinforcement pioneers are requisitioned.

I skip the armory and begin my panzer command. Infantry are T3, support units T1, and support vehicles T1 infantry. Things start to get tough, and they are about to get tougher. The enemy mortar has found his mark on my medic bunker in the west, accompanied by a bloodthirsty sniper against whom most of my infantry can do nothing. He sits comfortably behind a second MG bunker the enemy built without my knowledge.

To make thinks worse, they have enough command points to get rangers, and deploy them liberally against my fledgling eastern defense. A bunker is lost, and a lot of my guys die.

This is the bad time. I didn’t feel safe until I had my panther.

My halftrack chased down and finished one of the pesky ranger squads. Reformed triple veteran grenadiers are popping out of both medic bunkers. I punch a hole through the hedgerow protecting their base, only to find both base MG emplacements have sight on the area. It doesn’t go well…

Finally I break them by alternating panthers between attack and repair, and land a very effective rocket barrage on their precious squads. The rest is just overkill. FIN

Civilization IV Beyond the Sword – Mansa Musa on Noble, Part One: There Will Be Prophets

We are going way back to a game I used to play quite a bit. To get started,
we’ll adopt pretty much the same settings i used to play with. Continents,
temperate climate, medium water level, standard size, normal game speed,
and noble/normal difficulty.

I chose the Mali, who are one of my favorites. The Financial ability lets you
rake in the cash (some consider leaders with this trait “easy mode”) and
spiritual allows religious buildings to be constructed faster, and skips anarchy
periods do to policy changes.

The unique skirmisher unit offers a versatile force that defends and attacks
well, suffers fewer combat penalties than other early game units, and starts
with an additional point of base strength over the archer, which it replaces.

The unique mint building replaces the forge and increases a cities commerce by
10%. Rivers, minerals, plantations, coastal cities, and other commerce-favored
locations will give us a big advantage.

The beginning… We don’t have any moneymaking resources in the immediate area,
but a 1st turn shift puts us on a floodplains tile, giving us access to an early
growth advantage and another corn resource upriver. After founding Timbuktu, We
begin by building two warriors. This allows the city to grow right away, offers
protection from barbarians, allows units to earn experience against easier animal
units early on, and gives us map awareness much needed until hunting is
researched and scouts can be built.

The first technology we will learn is bronze working. Getting it reveals copper
and informs us of our most likely new settlement location (assuming copper is
revealed nearby). Also, our workers, which will come next in the build order,
gain the ability to clear forests. This gives a quick boost to any items being
constructed in the nearest city, and also opens forested tiles to future
improvements.

Agriculture is researched after bronze working. The sooner we can get the nearby
corn tiles improved, the better. We continue building a third warrior. By the
time we complete it, the city should be size 4, meaning more tiles can be worked.
2 villages are discovered, granting gold, and another in the north gives our
warrior enough xp to gain two new upgrades. I choose strength and shock. This guy
will do well in the open field or as a defender against most early game units.
We’ll put an axe in his hands once we get access to copper and the money for an
upgrade.

The first contact we have with another civilization is the Vikings. A dangerous
neighbor with the aggressive trait, and an A.I. to match it. I don’t have any
intent of trying to be friendly with these guys. Hopefully I can find their
capital and make off with one of their workers. Down south, multiple animal
encounters build up xp for our second warrior. The third remains in the capital,
to defend and prevent a happiness penalty for an undefended city.

Wow. They started pretty close to us. A turn later, we are ready to snag that
worker, conveniently sitting at the corner of their territory. War is declared,
we take the unit, and pillage their pasture for 3 gold and good measure. Sorry,
guy. It’s not personal, I just want to win.

We now have two workers. I think I can pull off a bit of a gambit here. I’ll
rush stonehenge, giving all future cities a free monument, then hurry down the
tech tree towards priesthood. From there, I’ll research writing, and by the time
the Oracle is finished, I’ll have the prerequisite techs to get Code of Laws for
free.

This will be a big part of our economic strategy. Both of these wonders
contribute great person points for Great Prophets. By founding being first to
research code of laws, we also benefit by founding confucianism. A great prophet
will allow us to build the unique wonder of the faith, providing gold for each
city in which the faith is observed. Additional great prophets can be used for
golden ages or permanent commerce and production bonuses in a city.

As an aside, river tiles that connect to a city provide additional commerce and
connect resources to it without the need for roads. Just another reason why river
cities are awesome starting points.

After chopping a couple of forests for a production boost and building mines and
farms, my second worker begins constructing a road to an ideal future city site.
that plains hill will have river access, pig and wheat, and most importantly,
copper. Once I get iron working researched, those river tiles can be cleared and
farmed.

Usually I would rush alphabet and trade for early tech scraps with my neighbors,
but in this situation we lack the friendly neighbors, and I may be overreaching
without a solid defense to protect my gains. I’ll grab archery next, then animal
husbandry.

Saladin visits us with a warrior from the northeast. I’ll have to scout that
area out to see how close he is, and determine how aggressively I’ll have to
expand.

WIth 2 more hammers needed to finish the Oracle, I load up as much production as
possible and use the slavery ability to sacrifice one population to gain a
production boost. The next thing we build will have a huge head start. It will
just take a few turns for us to return to max population, but that’s ok. We
can work our abundance of improved tiles to find an optimum balance.

Rather than continue the barracks, we will use our production bounty to bang out
a quick settler. Founding confucianism gives our city plus one population, and
city growth is halted during civilian unit construction, so we don’t really
suffer any penalty from using the slavery civic.

Turn 61… Human barbarians appear. These guys dont care about your cultural
borders, unlike the animals they replace. We are going to need archers and scouts
soon. Against them, the best defense is map visibility.

I plan to settle my 3rd city to the south, having river access, surrounded by
hills, and in range of 2 sugar and 1 spice resource.

Djenne is founded. Because I’m super clever, it starts with a route to the
capital already built. The best option is to build a scout. When that is
completed, pottery should be researched by the same turn, so I’ll construct a
granary to speed up it’s development.

Company of Heroes, Episode 1: 1v1 Langres. No footholds or f*$!s given. American Infantry Rush.

Images are at the bottom of the post, with narrative presented in chronological order. The primary features of this article are general American tactics, micromanagement of units, infantry company tactics, and aggressive unit placement and movements.

1st engineer starts the barracks, with a capture queue
running from north corner to the fuel in east.
Second engineer rallied to closest fuel on eastern edge of base.
1st engineers engaged by motorcycle near the northwest ammo point.
Newly formed riflemen support, drive off enemy pioneers and motorcycle
which has only a few hitpoints left. It returns to harass the west fuel
point capture and is destroyed. Unwise.
2nd riflement deployed find a bunker and drive off the pioneers. Nearby 2nd
engineer group equipped with flamethrower for the job (dont want an mg or
medic bunker at that location).

Thoughts: enemy cpu may employ weapon teams and bunkers in locations that
aren’t necessarily the most strategically advantageous. The problem is if
they catch your forces unaware and you don’t have the micro-skills to counter
them. This is why aggressive tactics will often serve better than focusing on
defensive projects. Less work in the long run, rather than having all of your
troop movements challenged passively late game, or an enemy medic/other bunker
complex neutralizing your gains in the field. #flamethrowers, mines

Americans need fuel for infantry tactics, tactics that imo work more effectively
in a controlled, smaller scale situation like a 1v1. Use the fuel for infantry
item upgrades, and support them with rangers asap. Get those rangers veterancy,
usually by using their sprint to take on snipers and weapons teams for easy xp.
Get the B.A.R. first, that gives you so much more versatility and field control
than grabbing grenades. Next should be sticky bombs, unless you are behind on
veterancy, in which case some grenades can earn you a few easy xp (if your
enemies suck at micro, which A.I. usually does in close combat situations).

Don’t overestimate the manpower advantage of weapons depot upgrades. If you
have a six man team at half health, they aren’t going to last long, and
replacements cost $$.

Build an MG emplacement or place an Mg at a key location in order for your
forces to concentrate on offensive objectives/field control. Idle engineers
should place mines in close proximity to capture points, roads, or possible
areas of ingress by the enemy with the ever-iminent puma rush. Oh yeah, sticky
bombs. Don’t forget those.

A pair of snipers try to approach the base and snipe off some of my MP, and
are detected soon enough for me to form a counter-attack. This was SO unwise
of them. I have two B.A.R. equipped squads advance straight at them, and
deliver several hits to soften them up, while another circles around and
follows their retreat path, picking up both kills, 19xp each, and the veterancy
that follows. If the map control didn’t make it GG, that little trade of
54-81mp for 680mp was devistating enough to be decisive.

Enemy weapons teams arrive far too late on the scene to make any difference.
A second MG bunker is placed in the southeast, directing any infanty squads
the northwest, where multiple xp-hungry riflemen wait. A couple of enemy
defensive bunkers are spotted and destroyed, but with difficulty.

They did something right! A mortar squad fires upon anyone who advances on
bunkers and captured points with impunity, safe behind base MG defenses.
Unfortunately for them, I’ve accumulated not only enough fuel for all
infantry and weapons depot upgrades, but also to field an armored car.
This unit rides right past the light base defenses and wrecks ravock upon
the fragile weapons teams and battered infantry squads within. Even a newly
deployed AT gun is destroyed, lacking the mobility and infantry support to be
truly effective.

American heavy infantry and AT support arrive shortly thereafter, and the rest
is history. Under 20 min, these guys are done. GG.

Louis CK on Youth

Here’s a link to what I’m gonna be talking about:

Why does Louis direct all this hate towards the youth? I can’t say that I’m really entertained by it, because I find the groupthink here to be more concerning than the satire is amusing, which really has little to do with age and more to do with assumptions. Here an assumption that is apparent in the clip, and from other Louis standup: As time goes on, people get smarter.

This is qualified by another assumption: that experience makes us wise. In another video, he describes the experience that makes a garbage man smarter than a 20 something scholar. While I can’t vouch for the wisdom of getting 3 PhD’s before 30, I certainly can’t vouch that the superior experience of the garbage man informs his opinion about… anything.

I get it. It’s a joke. It’s for fun. But after he uses the phrase “young cunt” in at least 2 different bits, you might want to ask, what’s your problem, man? You don’t like hipsters? I’m 25, I’m not a hipster. Don’t like know-it-all college types? That’s not my gig, either (I may still be a know it all though). Louis still hates me. Why do I take it so personally? Because he knows all about my life. He knows that I’m tall and thin, 20 something, and my life is like this. Which actually is pretty hilari.

Look at the response between the 45 and ups and the 40 and unders. He meets “youthful” enthusiasm with contempt because he feels that their experiences are less valid than his. Everything is handed to you, etc, etc. Which is true in a lot of respects. Which begs the question: What is the older generation handing down to the younger?

Money. Insecurity. Love, but not in this instance. Low expectations. Young cunts leech of their elders. They appreciate nothing. They work for nothing. “Do your fucking job,” he says. “It sucks, that’s why we gave it to you!” Then the accusation that because you’re young, you’ve never done anything for anybody. What good can I really do behind the McDonalds counter? That’s a real catch 22. Here’s an education, go save the world, one cheeseburger at a time.

It’s true, the youth bicker often with their parents, could certainly do better at respecting their elders, and might do better for themselves to observe the past in more ways than to say “Oh! I love Led Zeppelin and The Who! The Vietnam War was bogus! I like pot and LSD!”

“We won’t get fooled again…” In many respects, this might be the greatest legacy. A spirit of rebellion, breaking the mold, defying convention. This isn’t a post about the 60’s. Louis says while he was born in the 60’s, he grew up in the 70’s. I don’t really want to talk about the 70’s other than that I suspect many of the pressures and expectations are exported from his experiences of that decade.

If anything, the youth today have nothing else to rebel against other than a system that calls money God, sex Jesus, and violence the Holy Spirit. Their angst is targeted at the crippled institutions of religion and moral authority, instead. Who are the axis of evil today? The Islamic state. Israel. Westboro Baptist Church.

“We won’t get fooled again,” all the while imbibing the poison of a weaponized secular media that says, “don’t judge, its all the same shit.” I imagine things look that way on MTV. These have been struggles of every generation, things that challenge the youth to ask, who am I? What is valuable? Who am I to argue?

I’m just an ungrateful hipster douchebag, soaking up education and money, drinking coffee and eating bagels in an ironic T-shirt. What do I know?

I do agree with just about everything he says in “Do Your Job” until the first minute marker. My father told me, if you’re going to do anything, do it well. And his mentor shared this wisdom to him in his youth, and I’m sure his mentors mentor told him that, and so on. But instead of recognizing the monster that youth today must contend with, we are blamed for creating it, forced to embrace it, and “cunts” for wanting better. Cable television and high fructose corn syrup existed before I was born, mate.

How about you help me strike off these chains instead of trying to choke me with them? Everything’s awesome, nobody’s happy. Kids suck, parents suck, everything sucks. Huh?

Mount and Blade – Adventures of Red Beard, Episode 5 – Marauding

We start this episode on the road to Uxhal. Questioning travelers along the way hasn’t given us any leads on where the deserters may have gone to. This is the typical response.

Nizar and his tale of Ergellon Castle. A near death experience, followed by some romance. He never looks back. What a goy.

Tailing a sizable war party, lead by Count Matheas. A closer inspection is in order. They might have work for me.

And he does have work for me.

Good deal, kill a fugitive from justice. Easy enough. Where are y’all headed to?

Stuff I already knew. Peace might be brokered soon. I want to jump some caravans before then, but first, a ransom broker. Then, the fugitive.

A cute little ville. And a terrible hiding place for a fugitive. He should have made a dash for that hay pile there.

Just yield me your head and I’ll be on my way.

Some dexterous drawing of the bow. 2 fingers. He killed my horse with throwing knives. Usually its just safer to sit on top of them with a melee weapon and rain down blows. That’s what I get for getting too fancy.

A friendly man offers to escort me safely home. Wait a minute. This sounds an awful lot like extortion…

Other hill folk eager to offer me protection, and the weekly budget report.

Ransom broker in Uxhal. Nice. Time to ride east, I think.

Chasing off some raiders near Serindiar. Riding a bit with Count Kurnias. Employing the old Borcha wisdom: safety in numbers.

If Tarchias hurries up, we can save this situation. This is gonna be my first major battle. We have a slight advantage in numbers. I didn’t look to see how many veterans they have. Whatever… For the Horde!

I gotta figure out how to keep my horse alive…

That wasn’t so hard. No losses for my company, and the allies fared pretty well, too. A slaughter, they should have kept running.

Got me a high-profile prisoner as well (didn’t we talk to him not too long ago?).

 

A pretty swoll war party. Near the front is somebody I need to talk to. A tiny bit of cash, some rep, and the gratitude of the Lord of Veluca.

Building up my rep with the Khergit villages. This makes recruiting more and higher quality troops easier later on in the game. In the meantime, it’s a big waste of money. For more details on recruitment, and how reputation affects quantity and quality of troops, look here.

Enemies lurking in the forest. Too slow to catch me. I did some recruiting at Peshmi, Uhhun, and Kedelke, then found some really easy work in Narra, escorting a caravan along one of the shortest trade routes in Caldaria.

It’s good to support legitimate business men trying to make on honest living.

Oh, this guy is toast. He tried to pay me off with 114 denars. Weak. I need footmen prisoners too. Sorry, pal.

The spoils of war. I could get used to this. Here we are outside of Halmar. Escort mission complete!

 

Glad to see this guy. He’s gonna be seeing a lot of me. Btw, Don’t use the sell all prisoners option if you have a prisoner mission in progress. Sounds obvious, but I’ve sold off valuable top tier prisoners before, and more than once.

This is probably the biggest trade route the Sarranids have, with two of their major ones to the west shut down by the Rhodoks. A lot of it is generic trash. Maybe if I shift even further to the east, I can catch some spice and salt caravans. This will do for now.

Half of them run before the battle is even over. Shot one of them down. Shock tactics ftw. And some lovely items too! I need to increase my inventory management skills to take advantage of all this loot, I had to throw most of it away.

I made good on my promise to Amashke and delivered 7 heads of cattle I picked up in Peshmi. Resting in Halmar and waiting for the next caravans to present themselves.

Peace in the north. Level summaries of all heroes. Buffed up Nizar’s combat skills, Borcha’s scout skills, and my looting and inventory management.

Raddoun’s family offer a pretty decent ransom, given he’s lower-mid tier lord. I accept (denying gives you a hefty reputation and relationship penalty).

Squashed another caravan, but somebody has come out on patrol, and I don’t have a chance against him in a fight. Ninja! Vanish!

The ransom broker abandoned me. We were making so much money together! QQ

So here is another crude map of all the adventures we’ve had. Deserters are still at large. Defeated a fugitive in Fedner. Had a hand in destroying a Sarranid raiding party and captured Emir Raddoun. Escorted a Khergit caravan and brought cattle to the village of Amashke. Come to think of it, instead of buying them, I could have just stole them from Mazigh. Looted a few caravans. I am one footman away from completing my prisoner contract. Hopefully they don’t broker a truce before I can turn the quest in, that happens a lot. I have no projections for next round, everything depends on if we stay at war and if caravans keep coming through the pass.

Mount and Blade – Adventures of Red Beard, Episode 4 – The Rhodok Highlands

First, let us begin with a global overview. The map still remains pretty balanced. I can’t account for the villages that have been razed, but that’s such an arcane detail, I doubt anyone cares. Weyyah Castle is now controlled by the Rhodoks, so there’s that.

On to the Merchant of Jelkala!

A few of the border villages have been razed. Also, I took Nizar’s primo horse and traded it for my swaybacked mule. Ok, my old horse wasn’t that bad, but less than ideal for hit and run tactics, and I want to practice with my light lance a bit.

Ok. Now we can get things started. All we need to do is find the perpetrators. And there they are. Puds.

Yada yada yada, I brought steel. Let’s boogie.

I don’t think it likely that anybody on the receiving end of that battle would survive, much less leave it walking. I think when I lanced one of his cronies, his head came clean off. But hey, he snitched. I’ll let him run back to Jelkala and join the witness protection program. Maybe he’ll start a lucrative career as a codfisherman in Maine.

So we raided the Den of Evil. All their ill gotten gains are now mine. An inheritance of used klenex tissues and clogs, made from tissue boxes. Oh, and a rucksack filled with two dozen handsome throwing stones. A wealthy man, am I. So, the tutorial quest epic comes to a close. Back to Jelkala to claim what will hopefully be a more fruitful reward.

His ne’er do well brother is safe, and I have been rewarded 200 denars. But wait! There’s more!

Gamekeepers turning poacher… What has the world come to?

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Plebtards vs. Gamekeeper…tards. Sounds like a matchup for the ages. I’m in. But I have one question…

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Oh! More money? Why didn’t you just start with that? Jesus, I thought you’d never get to the point. Where am I going and who am I killing again?

Our hero leaves the tavern, his breath fetid and his feet unsteady. Ultraviolence ensues. For the sake of my viewers, I’ve censored associated images and replaced them with a verbal account (I forgot to take screenshots :P).

Shit. We did this good, why not storm the castle and declare a new republic? Freeeeeedoooom!

Sounds like a game plan. Give the king my regards.

Waiting… At this juncture, I’d like to comment on how this game simulates economics. It’s pretty basic, but the end effect is impressive. Village and town prosperity is determined by villagers and caravans successfully reaching a given destination, offloading or buying their goods, and returning to their point of origin. Diplomacy mod expands upon this, where kingdoms may control trade practices of their towns and caravans give extra gold to their hometown for each successful mission they accomplish. So, if so inclined, a lord can do pretty well financially by protecting his lands and the trade routes of nearby towns. Each village is assigned a default market town. The quality of goods produced or refined by each village or town is determined by it’s prosperity at the time. For more, see these links on prosperity, towns, and villages.

 

Life ain’t fair, me hearties… At least Graveth allowed him to tuck tail and run. So ends the tutorial saga… But wait! There’s more! I feel like getting into more shinanigans.

This is me. This is my character report. See how I’m all glistenin and shit?

Veluca, and all the money I made from prisoners. Goodbye, my looter friend. Adieu. Auf Wiedersehen. Gesundheit. Farewell.

Scouring the highlands for prisoners. I found the mountain bandit hideout. Very useful. Likely Count Matheas or Gutlans will pay me to wipe these mooks out.

Shitting on some bandits and deserters outside the forest near Fedner. And why not? Your party actually gets a morale boost from fighting bandits, but also a demodifier that stacks for multiple battles that occur on a single day. Worth it.

A party overview. My henchmen are getting buffer than me. Gotta buy some equipment soon.

Got a nice bit of cash for the mountain bandit and deserter prisoners. And a mission from the guild master has been given for another group of deserters.

Count Trimbau gives us an education on Rhodok politics. I have agreed to a mercenary contract with the kingdom, which entails killing any Sarranid I see, and a mission to capture 6 Sarranid Footmen. That added to the deserter contract from Veluca… I have my work cut out for me. I bet 1000 denars that they declare peace before I have to make good on the footmen prisoners.

Ok. So, we rode from the training camp, met with the merchant, extracted information concerning the whereabouts of his brother, rescued his brother, successfully overthrew a corrupt guard captain, scoured the highlands for bandits and deserters, accepted a contract to kill more deserters, joined forces with the Kingdom of Rhodoks against the Sarranid Sultanate, and agreed to capture 8 footman prisoners. Busy, busy. I’m not sure how long it will be before a peace is brokered. We have a 30 day contract, and are obligated to fight their enemies, whoever they may be.

Next time, I plan on getting rid of my current lot of prisoners in Uxhal, asking travelers on the way if they have spotted any deserters, and moving my way back towards the training camp, where caravans from Shariz will hopefully supply me with goodies and the footmen I need. It might be necessary to bolster my forces again, so I may also shift over towards Halmar, do some recruiting, and intercept caravans in that area.

Mount and Blade – Adventures of Red Beard, Episode 3 – Training Camp

Bolstering our numbers for the trip west.

An overview of the party. Some of these dudes are getting buff. I’ll have horse archers and lancers soon enough. Wish I had a cavalry robe…

Current quests. I guess I have to return to Dhirim to get my reward. Would have been nice if it was just paid to me in Ichamur. Then there’s still the bandits near Rushdigh.

My glorious return to Dhirim, triumphant. Best. Cowboy. Ever. Should have named my character John Wayne. Ooh! Cheap grain in plenty! Should be worth a few hundred denars later. I should build a brewery here, make a killing on ale. Where’s that guild master?

There’s always more killing to do. Bandits are lurking nearby, and usually they appear within line of sight when you start the quest.

Bingo! Love these quests. Easy money and renown, straightforward ultraviolence. Let’s commence, shall we?

Looking all badass with my cronies in formation. Got a couple of kills. My horse dies. I fend off one assailant before I decide I’m too tired and look at cloud shapes instead. I giggled when one of my tribesman avenged me with a club. He had some good moves to, parrying this and countering that. Needless to say, we won in the end.

The highlights? 2 dead, 2 wounded, 7 killed, 5 captured, AND I found a new mace that does 28 blunt damage. Oh yeah, and I saw a cloud that looked like a bunny.

A just reward. And he offers a contract to hunt down some looters. I’ve had bad experiences with this quest in the past. Never again. You’ll track down 2-3 parties, and while you do, the fourth party enters witness protection and settles down somewhere in Maine. No thanks, buddy.

 

Building my first enterprise in Dhirim! He projects the new brewery will bring in 206 denars every week. Nice. I could probably do even better than that if the prices stay at 8 denar for every grain stack.

I forgot to mention Borcha and I leveled up. Here are the new stats. Now, on to Rushdigh!

Why not stop at Halmar on the way? I can sell some of that cheap grain I picked up in Dhirim.

They had a welcoming committee just for me? I wish I was better prepared, the lance isn’t too useful on foot. Look, a shooting star! Luckily, I didn’t have much money for them to loot from me.

And now I have less…

Time to rest up. Let’s visit the tavern.

Nizar, perhaps you have heard of me. Red Beard? Cloud-Watcher and Star-Seer? One Who’s Beard is Red? Nevermind…

Oh, Nizar of the Bedchamber, who makes maidens swoon! Yeah, I know all about that shit.

I know that at least he has a courser and a sword, and both are at my disposal for 300 denars. That’s bupkes, so why not? We can kvetsh about the details later. You looks like a good goy with a lot of chutzpah, you can schlep along with us.

A much needed cash infusion before we proceed.

Whatever.

Quite a war party. Let’s investigate.

So the Sultanate has made peace with the Khanate, and warred with the Rhodoks. He wants me to join them in their defense of Weyyah Castle. If I sign a contract with them, I won’t be able to help my merchant friend for thirty days, or until a peace is brokered. No thanks, Godspeed.

Level 5! More looting and CHA, por favor.

There they are… And I’m seriously outnumbered. I’m just gonna pay them and be on my way, then. Back to Narra. Will I ever return to Jelkala?

This might turn into an anti-Khergit alliance later on.

Quest resolved. Let’s pick up a few more troops, train them a bit, and finish the first tutorial quest already!

7 recruits later, and here is my party.

Mounted training session went pretty well. Using the camp between Rhodoks, Sarranids, and Swadians.

Melee training went well. 3 tribesman against me. They gave me a few good whacks. Here we will rest for a time, and first thing next episode, return to Jelkala to finish business there. After that, who knows? Fight against the mountain bandits? Become a merchant and open more enterprises? Or sign a mercenary contract and get down and dirty? I prefer the last one. It’s dangerous, fun, and there’s a high risk I’ll spend a lot of fights on my back watching clouds.

Mount and Blade – Adventures of Red Beard, Episode 2 – The Khergit Steppe

Before leaving Veluca, I ran into Borcha.

I’m sure Borcha has all kinds of misunderstandings like this. I like his take on conflict resolution, too. A useful tracker, as well.

There had to be a catch… I can afford 300 denars, just gotta sell another stack of fish. Let’s look this horse in the mouth, shall we?

He’s got high intelligence, and should fill out my tracking, spotting, and pathfinding party skills nicely. Away we go!

Dhirim in the distance. A place where the grain is cheap and the villages are always burning. Doesn’t seem to be the case right now. Then again, I’m beyond caring about politics at this point.

Bah. The grain is cheaper in the villages before it comes to the market here. The guild master has an interesting job though. Guide a herd of cattle to Ichamur for 300 some denar. I’ll take it to score some extra experience. I can put off my return to Jelkala until a little later. Plus, the road to Ichamur will provide me with more tribesmen to recruit.

Amashke had some cheap grain and a couple of recruits available. Learned something, too: the Khanate seems to be at war with both Swadia and the Sarranids, and they don’t seem to mind one another. I’ll find out what’s going on when I get to Halmar.

Grabbing a beer in the tavern at Halmar. Not a lot of buzz here. Lezalit offers his services (mostly in the form of troop training and discipline), but I’m not inclined to part with another 400 denar just yet. It takes money to make money, after all.

Tansugai Noyan, huh? Thanks for the friendly greeting, mate. Hope to work with you at some point. For the Khan, and all that…

Yeah, he doesn’t like me much for some reason.

At least he gave me some valuable information. He’s holding down the fort and reinforcing his troops, while the other lords are riding to defend Peshmi. The Khanate is at war with both Swadia and the Sultanate (obviously), and it seems the Khan wants to negotiate a peace in the south to better fight the war in the north. Good luck to them, then.

Looks like the people of Uhhun are out of luck… A lord of the sultanate is on the way, and I doubt Tansugai Noyan is coming to bail his comrade out.

Lets see what Narra has to offer… A belligerent drunk! Good thing I spotted him first.

Needless to say, I clubbed the guy senseless. He should still be alive. Maybe. Who cares. Is that a ransom broker I see over there? Awesome! I can get rid of these looters.

100 denars for the whole lot of em? I’d be better off selling them to a slaver, but I’ll be damned if I march myself all the way to Tihr for the likes of them. Maybe if I had better prisoner management skill, I’d have more incentive…

Talking with the barkeep about work in the area. Bandits, bandits, something that sounds sketchy, and mercenary work in a losing war. One of the jobs was for Sanjar Khan himself, but I’d rather not get myself killed for the privilege of kissing his ass.

An overview of Narra. It says the city is flourishing. We’ll see how long that last with the countryside in ashes. I saw at least two villages razed on the way here… Not my concern. Maybe the guild master will have some contracts for me.

Deliver ransom to bandits near Rushdigh in the Sarranid Sultanate. Got it. If I’m lucky, maybe I can kill the whole lot of em and keep the money to myself. Gonna need some more men for that.

A village not on fire. How novel. And it’s thriving! These lovely folks offered up 5 tribesmen.

Wankers approaching from the south. And faster than I can run. They want blood or gold. “I’ll give you nothing but cold steel, you scum!”

After clubbing a bunch over the head and shooting some more with my bow, we emerge victorious. Not a lot of troops left. Maybe I should find a good medic.

Getting better, faster, stronger every day. We do not sow. Words.

Yes, Borcha. Tell me more about your plebian lifestyle. Spice in Tulga? Ok, I found some wheat amongst the chaff.

  

After navigating through a horde of steppe bandits, I finally deliver the herd.

The mighty city of Ichamur, world-leading exporter of bedbugs and degenerates. Seriously, the only thing they sell are excess goods brought by caravans from cities that actually produce stuff. Maybe if the villagers could make it to market without being gangbanged by a thousand freeriders?

Glad to see another broker here. The steppe bandits are ransomed for much more than the looters. Maybe the world would have been better off if I had just put a lance into them. Whatever, back to the horde you go!

No luck recruiting in Dirigh-Aban.

Better luck recruiting in Tulbuk. I always liked this village. It’s sort of in the hinterland and usually close to steppe bandit lairs.

Speaking of steppe bandits… Goodbye, new recruits. It was nice knowing you for a whole 30 seconds.

4 more prisoners. And the casualties aren’t so bad

See? Already recovered my losses.

No more! Run for your lives! Taking shelter in Distar Castle until the bandits bugger off. I’m not coming out here again until I beef up my party a bit, this is ridiculous.

Meh. Pretty mediocre price on Spice. I can maybe make 50 gold selling it elsewhere. The other caravans must have beat me to it. Another time perhaps (and not too soon).

Well, 3 more recruits. I’m beat. I’m low health, I’ve been fighting my way across the steppe since I got here, and I think I’m gonna head to Narra and rest up before I make my way over to Rushdigh. Then, I’ll buy whatever cheap stuff they got, maybe do some exercises at the training grounds, and head back to Jelkala to help out my old merchant companion.

Actual path in green, battles in red x’s, projected path in red. See you next time!

Foot Washing: A Humble Tradition (under construction)

Besides being a hygienic necessity and generally good practice, foot washing is a religious rite in Christian, Muslim, and other religious circles. Foot washing was a more prevalent ritual at a time when many people wore sandals rather than shoes, practiced when one came into a house or place of worship. Physical purification was an essential part of spiritual purification as well, making one clean and presentable before God as well as their host.

¹⁴ “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵ For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. ¹⁶ Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. ¹⁷ If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.”

– John 13:14-17

O ye who believe! when ye prepare for prayer, wash your faces, and your hands (and arms) to the elbows; Rub your heads (with water); and (wash) your feet to the ankles. If ye are in a state of ceremonial impurity, bathe your whole body. But if ye are ill, or on a journey, or one of you cometh from offices of nature, or ye have been in contact with women, and ye find no water, then take for yourselves clean sand or earth, and rub therewith your faces and hands, Allah doth not wish to place you in a difficulty, but to make you clean, and to complete His favour to you, that ye may be grateful.

– Al-Ma’ida, Sura 5, Ayah 6

  This is to be considered a great act of humility, in that it requires the host to be of service to their guest. While any base braggart can invite those they wish to impress to their home, making a great show of the luxury of their wealth, foot washing is an act that anyone is capable of, and exhibits character in a way that lavish gifting cannot.

  This example, set by Christ, consistent with other acts and words found in the New Testament, contributes to our understanding of a new kingdom. An kingdom where the last shall be first, and the meek shall inherit the earth. The king wears a crown of thorns, and washes the feet of his subjects.

  Why, then, do we not see Christians regularly doing this thing, which is one of few things we can directly attribute to primary accounts of Christ in the scriptures? Sure, there are festivals and holy days where certain orthodox sects will wash feet in ceremony, but should not believers with joy wash the feet of others? I have never in my life seen such a thing take place.

  And if you were to try it, or propose to another the service? I can only imagine how well what would be received. The conditions for it to be appropriate do not exist outside of antiquated ceremony. If you touch another person at all, you should be related to them or married. Touching other men is taboo, and touching women too (unless you have some sort of exclusivity contract).

  With such restraints of the propriety of intimacy, it’s no wonder people are so stressed an neurotic in their personal and professional relationships, or in the discerning of the two. A basic and meaningful expression of gratitude and personal worth is far too revolutionary for a culture that perverts human interaction at every turn.

  Such suspicious hearts might be healed by a time-honored tradition, which unfortunately seems to have fallen from favor.